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And I get to love you unconditionally. What I want so much to share is that it is okay for us each to be ourselves…as we are right now. I wanted to be only the real me. It is the same. My friend and podcast co-host, Luis Campos, recently told me that he was diagnosed with something scary. As I wrote in a recent post, to be willing to truly stop, to give up, to make no effort, to relax the conditioned self-protective mechanism against life happening, to release that fixation on thought and feeling and problem — that goes against the momentum of a lifetime. But it is to recognize that simultaneously, there exists the domain — what my friend, John Veen , calls the vertical context. Point being, out of that came a new emphasis. I wanted only to be good and pure and free of unwanted experience and conditioning. How can I know? I managed — through the assistance of somebody I waved down — to get him in my car and drive him to the nearest animal hospital with emergency care since it was a Sunday. I hope you die a miserable death. Not in the casual sense of obsessed. There is a great irony — and one that was lost of me for a long time — in rooms full of people gathered in the self-centered pursuit of no self.
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Truth just looked like ignorance and suffering. I wanted to be only the real me. What I mean is simply that I get to love unconditionally. It is a nondual domain. It is the willingness to connect and make no effort to stop the flow of life, as scary as it can be at times. It is to recognize that the problem that seems to demand that we solve it is for a future self who will never arrive.